Chartsengrafs - The audacity to have me with the curtains back

(now with added YouTube links for part 1!)



Sunday just gone: Shakira number one for a fourth week in a row, in the end. Still selling almost 30,000 a week, still not getting played on Radio 1 or of course Radio 2, still faintly confounding. Chamillionaire gets the usual late-week boost for 2, relegating David Guetta vs The Egg to 3. Credit is surely due to Arctic Monkeys at 4 for the success of their continuing efforts to get rid of all of that awful fame that they've achieved, this time extending right to the single artwork as well as accompanying lack of willingness to promote. The cover version B-sides basically exist as an attempt to deflect some interest onto their mates 747s and The Little Flames too.
Cassie moves up to 6 with Micky Modelle v Jessy the other top 10 new entry. Is the current mini-dance-revival just down to lack of much else out there in August or something more? Alesha gets to a middling 14... I would have expected higher or lower before hearing the song but it's actually not nearly as abrasive as hoped. It's (hooray!) a place above Ronan Keating though, reaching his career low in every sense with a hideous cover of Goo Goo Dolls' "Strange Glue" "Iris", a song which is actually not bad in itself but can surely be considered largely responsible for Hoobastank's "The Reason" and similar monstrosities. Maria Lawson somehow turns around from The X Factor a year ago to get a top twenty hit, while Chico recovers from a far more ignomious midweek to reach 24. Someone must have been helping him.
The Young Knives (This song was all over the V festival: I still have "it's not importtant! it's not importtant!" stuck in my head) and The Sunshine Underground slip in at 35 and 39 respectively. Oh and "Horny Like A Dandy" (still in the top 40) is not the worst mashup in existence afterall - that would be the one of "I Believe In You" and "What You Waiting For?", complete with videos that weren't so much mixed as alternated, that someone chose to put on screen at V.
The rest of the top 75 is littered with quite good songs: The Futureheads' "Worry About It Later", The Spinto Band's "Oh Mandy" and The Divine Comedy's "To Die A Virgin" (approximately 10,000 times better than his last single) among them. The last one is a link to a whole range of videos entered for a competition, by the way.The Crimea (not actual video) and Hot Chip (not YouTube) don't even get as far as the top 75, though.

In the albums, Christina Aguilera is number one with ease, not much else happens. Captain at 23.




Sunday coming: Shakira may finally be removed by Beyoncé (ft. Jay-Z)'s leap from the twenties although it looks far from certain. Morrissey gets his guarenteed top 10 midweek and Snow Patrol are climbing again as radio clings on tight and refuses to let go.
Thom Yorke and Priory clients past and present Matt Willis and Keane (well ok, not all of them) are all due for a top 20 which is not too great for any of them, especially with Justin Timberlake beating them on downloads alone.
Hope Of The States, whose last single barely reached the top 40, are staging a spiriting and surprising comeback but are only likely to manage similar with Left's title track at best. Prospective top 40 new entries are completed by The Rolling Stones, Lazy B, Taking Back Sunday, and Pink with the third single from her current album in on downloads alone. A lot of people may be looking on and wondering why they can't still manage that.
Duncan James (you know! Blue! That song with that woman who did that song with the cricket team!) is outside the top 50.

In the albums it's going to be as you were again at the top. Lower down OutKast will be completely failing to capitalise on the popularity of their last one, barely beating Slayer in the lower teens, and Seth Lakeman's promo is starting to pay off as his rereleased album heads top 40.