Chartsengrafs - Tomorrow is cancelled

Sunday gone: Kaiser Chiefs' physical release is enough to give them the first ever number one
by an alumni of Drowned In Sound records. Jeniferever unlikely to follow. The Kaisers' 38,000 sales are enough to put them comfortably but not enormously ahead of Mika, finally gone after five weeks at the top, and a second week for "Ruby" is unlikely.
Kelis and Cee-Lo jump to 3 with their CDs out, but Sophie Ellis-Bextor's are only enough to make 8. Take That are number 10, just like last week, but this time it's with "Shine", and The Fray continue their inexorable rise at 5. Not known if this was helped by their Radio 1 appearance, during which they played a cover of "Hips Don't Lie" that set amazing new standards in DEAR LORD HOW LONG DOES THIS GO ON FOR??. Actually, that might explain why Shakira's original is at 74!
Akon both falls to a place to 4 (the one with Snoop) and climbs a place to 7 (the one with Gwen).
To make things a bit less confusing, the Take That, Gwen Stefani and The Fray records are the ones that actually got released yesterday and will be sure a boost next time around.
As will The Gossip's "Standing In The Way Of Control", already an impressive 13, although there are some rules issues to be worked through there: they already released it as recently as the end of October on as many physical formats as are allowed, and some of those are still selling.
Beyonce's "Listen" jumps back from outside the top forty to 16; Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" makes a further leap up to 18 post-Brits with her album similarly returning to 1 an album chart otherwise lifeless bar The Fray entering at 4. And Explosions In The Sky at 58! Junior Jack's climber "Dare Me (Stupiddisco)" rounds out the top twenty, possibly thanks to being mistaken for Just Jack.
In download action Lily Allen moves to 23, Fergie to 27 and The Killers to 29. No such chance of advancing for The Magic Numbers (36) and Mumm-Ra (40). Fair enough in the latter case when Pull Tiger Tail are doing the same thing better, really. Not making the top forty
And in our now regular closing puzzle, The Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" is 34 this week, up another five places.

Sunday coming: Kaiser Chiefs will be number one in albums, but you already knew that, right? In singles, they're probably going to be deposed by Take That, just sparing us "How To Save A Life" at number one. Gwen/Akon should be top 5, The Gossip and Justin Timberlake a little further down. And we have out first actual big new download rules entry (no, Koopa don't count) as an anti-war song promoted at the weekend's demonstrations heads for the top 10. Ooh.
Further down in the top forty:
Cascada!
Cussh!
Pigeon Detectives!
The Horrors!
Idlewild! (which is, us, a surprise actually)
The Maccabees!
and CSS!

7 Days - The grammar of one finger

Patrick Wolf - "The Marriage"
Thanks to the awful quality of the leak I have I haven't been listening to the album much yet (that can wait til tomorrow!), instead falling in love with this bonus track from its iTunes release. Which is all about Patrick being in love too, as demonstrated through popping electronic noises and one of his warmest and sweetest vocals ever. Its entertaningly gauche lyrics are soon to be an essential reference for every messageboard 'Is Patrick gay??' debate ever, too.

Kepler - "Lighthouse"
This came from Ian, and a quick google reveals (aside from the astronomer) that they've broken up. It's a shame, because this is gorgeous. Running on only a slowly cycling guitar riff and the merest smears of strings, it concentrates everything on the singer, not that he needs more than similarly minimal input. There's a real tension present throughout, because it feels on the edge of launching into some kind of catharsis but never actually does. The atmosphere of overhanging doom that is created so effectively is a perfect fit to the lyrics, too - when it finishes on 'every day, my execution is stayed' the hint of futile relief present is heartbreaking.

Art Of Fighting - "Free You"
Continuing the slow and the sad, the new single by a band that I've previously talked about at length. This isn't as monumental as "Heart Translation" but is rather lovely nonetheless.
Thanks to Sheila for the tip-off on this one, available for free from Aussie radio station Triple J.

Goose - "Black Gloves"
I got their album because they impressed me so much at Eurosonic, and it's living up to expectation so far. This instrumental first track is actually the pick of the bunch, cramming all that they do best into two minutes: sleek bass, squelchy keyboards and a fast build into a brutally effective dancefloor monster.
{A different song on YouTube}

MIA - "Zirkus"
First, no, not that M.I.A.. No dots, see. Anyway, this is your Jukebox referral of the week. I totally said 'sinister undertones' too! But there's obviously no point in having it twice. Together with "Tanz Der Molecule", good enough that I have ordered the album of the same name from amazon.de. At least, I hope I have. I only studied German for two years and it was a while ago.

The Kissaway Trail - "Eloquence And Elixir"
If you were just a bit disappointed when Mew decided to coat their dreamy pop in lots and lots of prog then it's time to rejoice, because The Kissaway Trail do yearning and twinkling and grand at least as well as they did! They're Danish too, of course.
{A different song on YouTube}

I Was A Cub Scout - "I Hate Nightclubs"
Carries on exactly where their really promising electro-angst debut left off, really, bar the addition of just a smattering of guitar fuzz taking them further away from The Postal Service. That made it initially slightly underwhelming, but there are still few new bands making music so addictive.

Chartsengrafs - Am I too dirty?

Sunday gone: Let's start off with the campaign of the week to right invented wrongs and turn over the charts: "Roll With it" fails to even make the top 200, though the website hasn't changed yet to reflect this. Morrissey fans at least acknowledge their crushing failure.
Both would perhaps have been wise to choose weeks without sales being inflated by the Brit Awards, not that it would have helped that much. The effect isn't enough to change the very top of singles (or albums), where Mika still rules all, but it does send "Patience" 22-10 (putting it just ahead of Take That's follow-up!), "Chasing Cars" 23-12, "Rehab" 49-22 and "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" 39-33.
"When You Were Young", "Put Your Records On" and "Dani California" obviously weren't so well received, only the first even making the top seventy-five. Meanwhile RHCP's new piece of crap "Desecration Smile" does only a little better at 27, sitting alongside the similarly fully released Snow Patrol's "Open Your Eyes" (26) and The Feeling's "Rose" (38) in the 'maybe we should stop bleeding this album dry now' stakes.
Higher up Kaiser Chiefs are still 2, Akon moves to 3, The Gossip move top twenty and Omarion enters at 19. Never Forget.
I guess their Best British Breakthrough Artist award might be responsible for The Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" re-entering at 39, but there must be greater unholy forces at work to explain why that and their follow-up single have both been hanging around the edges of the top forty for weeks now. Also back from the undead: Razorlight's "America" at 34. More heartening news is that Towers Of London's "I'm A Rat", despite the best efforts of the press to turn a few days' worth of reality TV exposure into a career, stalls at 46. That's one place better than Blink 182 leftovers +44, and, brilliantly, two worse than Ch!pz. Remember the Pop! that didn't feature Hugh Grant? No? Well, that would be where they've gone wrong. It may be worth clicking that YouTube link just for the tags and description. Finally, anyone wondering about why Spice Girls Reunion rumours are taking hold now should note the position of Emma Bunton's new single, peaking at 60. 60!

Sunday coming: Kaiser Chiefs should manage number one in the singles. Amy Winehouse will be back on top in the albums. Also going up: The Fray, Kelis/Cee-Lo, Beyonce, Junior Jack and 27 year old former Spiller singer ((c) Metro) Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

7 Days - It's my party

New thing works like this: end each week with the seven songs that have most caught my ear during it.

2Raumwohnung - "Nimm Mich Mit"
Yummy German electropop with a gentle exterior eventually giving way to heartache - had me intrigued to hear more straight away and the more has delivered too! Their new single is on the Jukebox too. No-one else liked it as much :(

Snow Patrol - "One Night Is Not Enough"
Reviews of modern day Snow Patrol getting on my nerves? Obviously the perfect time to listen to the Snow Patrol of old before it was all big lovelorn anthems. Except that, hmm, this is in fact their biggest lovelorn anthem of all. There's a bit of extra bite to the guitar crunching in the chorus, and the chorus itself has a bit much venom, but really this is close to "Run" as makes no difference, right up to the spiralling guitar climax. That's no bad thing.

Los Campesinos! - "We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives"
Having long since fallen in love with their debut sort-of-single "You! Me! Dancing!", this was the week that this one started to make just as much sense. Sounding this fresh in the world of scrappy, dancey indie is no easy achievement, but they do it by being more fun than everyone else by a distance. The noisy false ending and listing of Halloween costumes is quite the winning combination. Also notable because of the weird coincedence of sharing an amusing lyrical reference with the title track to fellow hopefuls Lucky Soul's The Great Unwanted. They almost use it in the same way, in fact, with Lucky Soul having 'It's your party, you can die if you want to, die if you want to' to their 'It's your party but I'll die if I want to, die if I want to'. What are the chances?

Fall Out Boy - "Hum Hallelujah"
I just love that kind of thing in general actually, which is why my favourite song so far on the very surprisingly good Fall Out Boy album is the one with hook provided by Leonard Cohen via Jeff Buckley (via Shrek?).

Klaxons - "Totem On The Timeline"
The album is perhaps a little slim and the hype of course silly, but in a climate where imagination in mainstream guitar bands seems something to be frowned on, songs as energetically ridiculous as this ("In club 1830 I met Julius Ceasar...") are refreshing as well as exciting.

Grinderman - "No Pussy Blues"
Another Jukebox contender (except this time everyone else liked it even more). This is the first time I can remember that Nick Cave has not just sounded like someone to be admired and respected from a distance, but actually demanded attention NOW.

Bat For Lashes - "Moon & Moon"
See here.

Brit Awards 2007

I only made it back halfway through, hence no live coverage and the fact that I can't speak with much authority on the whole thing. But it was a bit of a weird one. As long as you realised that Cat Power, Bob Dylan and even Guillemots never had any chance at all, the set of winners was an unusually pleasing one that even had some minor surprises. Lily Allen going home empty handed could be predicted, but Snow Patrol too? Even The Fratellis winning Best Breakthrough can be seen as a lesser of two evils situation while The Kooks still exist.
But on the other hand, the ceremony itself was deadly dull. Russell Brand tried his best, and his Gallagher baiting was quite amusing, but nothing interesting happened, no one had anything interesting to say and the live performances I saw were all totally lacking in spark. The only consequence of being live for the first time in years was that the sound got annoyingly muffled every few minutes - ITV claimed afterwards that this was to cover swearing, but it didn't sound like it.
Now, getting rid of the duet performances of the past at least prevents something like Melua/Cullum's "The Lovecats" ever happening again, but uninspired runs through all the songs that everyone's already heard too many times doesn't seem a great alternative. And as the big finale Oasis sounded like shit even outside of the numerous underwater sections and didn't even play any big hits til after the TV cameras had left them.
So what was worth watching? Nelly Furtado at least seemed very excited as ever to win and got all but shoved off stage as a result, but the only real highlight was Arctic Monkeys continuing to adapt to success in their own unique way in their video acceptance speeches for their two awards. 'We're too busy rehearsing', sour expressions offset by appearance:

Chartsengrafs - Repulse you with my queasy smile

Sunday gone: Mika at number one for a fourth week in the singles, now joined by his album too. I was wondering what amusing new thing I could possibly say about him at this stage, but luckily Brian May has stepped in to save me from needing to!
Midweek predictions of not much happening near the top aren't quite correct as Kaiser Chiefs' "Ruby" rockets right in at 2 after being released to download services earlier in the week. Next week's number one? Maybe! I can't remember a time when their rise seemed that exciting but there might have been one once.
The Fray continue their inexorable rise, going 10-6. Look, I had the measure of them in October! Gwen Stefani and Akon move to 10, just below his other single. That makes it six top 15 singles in a row for her, as long as you ignore "Luxurious". Oh yeah, everyone did. Kelis and Cee-Lo continue to follow their trajectory a little below, moving 19-13.
Mark Owen and his Take Thats go 30-17 well ahead of full release, Sophie Ellis-Bextor does much the same just below, and Nelly Furtado moves up to 19 with one of those rare songs on her album that falls into neither the awesome or cloyingly awful category. Unlike all of the above, Jessica Simpson at 20 has actually been fully released and has about the same amount of UK appeal as Paris Hilton. But more than 2Pac at 21.
"Chasing Cars" moves 24-23.
Ericke E's beat is rocking at 25; what goes around comes around for Justin Timberlake at 29 on dowonloads; Beyonce creeps 39-31; The Long Blondes' fantastic "Giddy Stratospheres" is 37 and Lily Allen lurks just outside at 44. Plus at 34, FHM High Street Honeys! Yes, they're covering "I Touch Myself". And the video is exactly what you expect. Thing is, this is at least as well as any proper British girlgroup launched at this point would do.

In the albums we have Bloc Party and Fall Out Boy at 2 and 3 behind Mika as expected, and Cold War Kids' hype just about carries them to 35.

Sunday coming: Mika is going to be number one again, unless Kaiser Chiefs have a very big end of week surge. Akon's the only other possible challenger. Meanwhile "Chasing Cars" is already heading for the top 10 even before the Brit Awards effect which thanks to the instant accessibility of downloads is probably going to dominate the chart this week even more than in past years.
Oh, and no sign of "Roll With It"! What a surprise.

Bat For Lashes - Moon & Moon

A treat from last night's The Culture Show. Playing for a TV audience probably larger than that of existing fans, Natasha Khan makes the obvious decision to play a bewitching but unreleased song:

Chartsengrafs extra: Fix Me Now

Getting a fair amount of attention this week: a website campaigning for people to download enough copies of old songs to get them to number one in the UK singles chart, focussing on cases where a single has 'undeservedly' reached number two. Leaving aside the fact that this is apparently being run as a publicity stunt for a download store, their particular campaign has idea an awful start by choosing "Roll With It": everyone already owns it, it was beaten by "Country House" which lots of people still prefer, "Wonderwall" is better anyway. There can't be many songs that were more famously number two, but it's still not a lot to go on. It will be interesting to see where they get to if they carry on down that route for any length of time, as well: "this week, download Out Of Your Mind"?

The switch to a chart that allows downloads, meaning that much less outside help is required to provide the stock for those taking part in these campaigns to go ahead, has spurred a number of such efforts. Morrissey fans are attempting similar, and of course we've already had Billie Piper's return to the charts via Chris Moyles.

And all of this is a great thing. Partly because it's doomed to failure of course: if it there was any risk of an Oasis/Morrissey top two next week thanks to people posting on messageboards I would be a bit iffy on it, but it never works that way. It's a great thing because the occasional harmless hijacking of the lower reaches of the UK charts by outside influences is one of the things that makes them so fun to watch: fantastic stories like John Otway and Brighton and Yeovil football clubs spring to mind from recent years, plus that whole business of The Alarm pretending to be a new band and it working despite not fooling anyone for very long. I don't want to see the charts turned over to these people completely, obviously, but I don't want an end to it either.
And it means that, against all odds, people still care. The complaints in that John Otway link about his song being missing from Woolworths charts (the writers seeming to miss the point there that they make up their own chart all the time, 'airbrushing' many a hit in the same manner) seem kind of quaint now. HMV run their own chart too, just shifted to Fifty Quid Man instead of teenage girls, and you'll be hard pressed to find an online store that displays the top 40 rather than their own sales chart. You no longer get your 3 minutes on Radio 1 or Top Of The Pops as reward for a position. Yet people still care! Deeply enough to hold votes and start up campaigns, looking to teach a lesson to the chart watching public, whoever they are. Amazing.

Chartsengrafs - Mmm-mmm

Sunday gone: Mika stays number 1 for a third week. The addition of physicals to downloads lets him take his sales for the week to 77,500. That passes for loads these days, so runners up Fall Out Boy can perhaps consider themselves a little unlucky having got 30,000 or so. Bloc Party stomp and plead their way to 4 with "The Prayer" and Akon and The Fray both slip into the top ten for the first time. You know, I think (or hope) that the gap to The Fray's physical release is going to be long enough that they'll have already done too well to get a big peak - it might cost them number one.
Ten-twenty shows little movement bar Sharam partying all the time at 16 and Kelis and Cee-Lo climbing to a fairly impressive early 19. It's been a while since she had a proper hit, too. It's from twenty-thirty that it's all happening, though.
No one much cares abo0ut Kasabian any more, even if their song isn't totally awful, at 22. Gwen Stefani moves to a downloads only 23 with "The Sweet Escape" then she's set up nicely for another slowly successful and if even this can manage to be huge album campaign. Bring on Rice-Oxley! "Chasing Cars" heads up eight places to 24, ffs, and The Gossip climb nine to 25. Lady Sovereign moves up to 26 on full release, so I was only slightly premature and slightly wrong in making fun of her last week. Sophie Ellis-Bextor's "Catch You" is 28 on downloads. If she'd have left it much longer to come back she'd have been being promoted as 'the girlfriend of that guy in The Feeling', probably.
Take That unleash Mark Owen at 30 on downloads. Nas, Nelly Furtado, Beyonce and Bowling For Soup all creep into the lower end of the forty. Two of those are going to get much higher. Guess which. Razorlight and The Fratellies make up four of the next ten places between them, so let's stop there.

Over in the albums, Klaxons' early week charge turns out to be no match for the weekend supermarket/Amazon buying power of Norah Jones fans, so they have to settle for 2. Other end of January top ten entries from Jamie T (4), Just Jack (6) and a Madonna live album (7) and it's fairly unlikely we'll be seeing much more of them this high any time soon. Actually that counts double for The Shins and Josh Groban at 16 and 17. On Just Jack: does the album cover look about 5 years out of date to anyone else?
At 20 we have, uh, Doris Day, while Little Man Tate bewilderingly fail to take off with the Kooks/View/Fratellis audience at 27, and a year is a long time for Clap Your Hands Say Yeah as Some Loud Thunder fails to replicate their debut's top forty success of Jan 2006.


Sunday coming: It will be the same story again in the album chart; Bloc Party have taken an early lead but have no chance whatsoever of keeping it up all week with Mika bearing down on them full force. Fall Out Boy will settle for 3.
In the singles there's really not a lot that's going to happen, bar entries/risers for the following lower down:
Kaiser Chiefs!
Jessica Simpson!!
2Pac!!!
Erick E?!?!
The Long Blondes!!!!!

Reviewer mindmeld

From a review of Snow Patrol's "Open Your Eyes" single in the NME this week:

'NME have finally pegged the appeal of Snow Patrol - basically they make rock music for people who are too busy to actually get into rock music, and need an easy option swathed in a veneer of quality. Favourite restaurant? Pizza Express. Favourite furnishings store? Ikea. Favourite band? Snow Patrol.'

From a Drowned In Sound review of "Chocolate", April 2004:

'This is a recording designed to fit into a banal lifestyle, without friction, without fuss. It slots in nicely with that trip to Ikea, that purchase of a deluxe double-disc DVD, that Pizza Hut meal deal'

"Open Your Eyes" is a bit of a ponderous, overlong thing and it took me at least 30 seconds to realise wasn't "Chasing Cars" last time I heard it soundtracking something on TV. Hardly their finest moment, then, but still less banal than that approach to criticising it.

Regina Spektor - Fidelity

This was one that got away, Jukebox-wise, and what is this for if not telling you about awesome songs? Anyway, I've never had that much time for Regina before but that's because I haven't heard anything as gorgeous as "Fidelity"'s pizzicato progression. A thousand dainty little steps moving purposefully forwards, and the moment when the music momentarily stumbles before heading forwards stronger than ever is the stuff of dreams. I still don't love Regina herself on this (sung by, say, Joan Wasser this would be a 10/10 for sure) but it's difficult to mind too much.