Chartsengrafs - Tomorrow is cancelled

Sunday gone: Kaiser Chiefs' physical release is enough to give them the first ever number one
by an alumni of Drowned In Sound records. Jeniferever unlikely to follow. The Kaisers' 38,000 sales are enough to put them comfortably but not enormously ahead of Mika, finally gone after five weeks at the top, and a second week for "Ruby" is unlikely.
Kelis and Cee-Lo jump to 3 with their CDs out, but Sophie Ellis-Bextor's are only enough to make 8. Take That are number 10, just like last week, but this time it's with "Shine", and The Fray continue their inexorable rise at 5. Not known if this was helped by their Radio 1 appearance, during which they played a cover of "Hips Don't Lie" that set amazing new standards in DEAR LORD HOW LONG DOES THIS GO ON FOR??. Actually, that might explain why Shakira's original is at 74!
Akon both falls to a place to 4 (the one with Snoop) and climbs a place to 7 (the one with Gwen).
To make things a bit less confusing, the Take That, Gwen Stefani and The Fray records are the ones that actually got released yesterday and will be sure a boost next time around.
As will The Gossip's "Standing In The Way Of Control", already an impressive 13, although there are some rules issues to be worked through there: they already released it as recently as the end of October on as many physical formats as are allowed, and some of those are still selling.
Beyonce's "Listen" jumps back from outside the top forty to 16; Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" makes a further leap up to 18 post-Brits with her album similarly returning to 1 an album chart otherwise lifeless bar The Fray entering at 4. And Explosions In The Sky at 58! Junior Jack's climber "Dare Me (Stupiddisco)" rounds out the top twenty, possibly thanks to being mistaken for Just Jack.
In download action Lily Allen moves to 23, Fergie to 27 and The Killers to 29. No such chance of advancing for The Magic Numbers (36) and Mumm-Ra (40). Fair enough in the latter case when Pull Tiger Tail are doing the same thing better, really. Not making the top forty
And in our now regular closing puzzle, The Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" is 34 this week, up another five places.

Sunday coming: Kaiser Chiefs will be number one in albums, but you already knew that, right? In singles, they're probably going to be deposed by Take That, just sparing us "How To Save A Life" at number one. Gwen/Akon should be top 5, The Gossip and Justin Timberlake a little further down. And we have out first actual big new download rules entry (no, Koopa don't count) as an anti-war song promoted at the weekend's demonstrations heads for the top 10. Ooh.
Further down in the top forty:
Cascada!
Cussh!
Pigeon Detectives!
The Horrors!
Idlewild! (which is, us, a surprise actually)
The Maccabees!
and CSS!

7 Days - The grammar of one finger

Patrick Wolf - "The Marriage"
Thanks to the awful quality of the leak I have I haven't been listening to the album much yet (that can wait til tomorrow!), instead falling in love with this bonus track from its iTunes release. Which is all about Patrick being in love too, as demonstrated through popping electronic noises and one of his warmest and sweetest vocals ever. Its entertaningly gauche lyrics are soon to be an essential reference for every messageboard 'Is Patrick gay??' debate ever, too.

Kepler - "Lighthouse"
This came from Ian, and a quick google reveals (aside from the astronomer) that they've broken up. It's a shame, because this is gorgeous. Running on only a slowly cycling guitar riff and the merest smears of strings, it concentrates everything on the singer, not that he needs more than similarly minimal input. There's a real tension present throughout, because it feels on the edge of launching into some kind of catharsis but never actually does. The atmosphere of overhanging doom that is created so effectively is a perfect fit to the lyrics, too - when it finishes on 'every day, my execution is stayed' the hint of futile relief present is heartbreaking.

Art Of Fighting - "Free You"
Continuing the slow and the sad, the new single by a band that I've previously talked about at length. This isn't as monumental as "Heart Translation" but is rather lovely nonetheless.
Thanks to Sheila for the tip-off on this one, available for free from Aussie radio station Triple J.

Goose - "Black Gloves"
I got their album because they impressed me so much at Eurosonic, and it's living up to expectation so far. This instrumental first track is actually the pick of the bunch, cramming all that they do best into two minutes: sleek bass, squelchy keyboards and a fast build into a brutally effective dancefloor monster.
{A different song on YouTube}

MIA - "Zirkus"
First, no, not that M.I.A.. No dots, see. Anyway, this is your Jukebox referral of the week. I totally said 'sinister undertones' too! But there's obviously no point in having it twice. Together with "Tanz Der Molecule", good enough that I have ordered the album of the same name from amazon.de. At least, I hope I have. I only studied German for two years and it was a while ago.

The Kissaway Trail - "Eloquence And Elixir"
If you were just a bit disappointed when Mew decided to coat their dreamy pop in lots and lots of prog then it's time to rejoice, because The Kissaway Trail do yearning and twinkling and grand at least as well as they did! They're Danish too, of course.
{A different song on YouTube}

I Was A Cub Scout - "I Hate Nightclubs"
Carries on exactly where their really promising electro-angst debut left off, really, bar the addition of just a smattering of guitar fuzz taking them further away from The Postal Service. That made it initially slightly underwhelming, but there are still few new bands making music so addictive.

Chartsengrafs - Am I too dirty?

Sunday gone: Let's start off with the campaign of the week to right invented wrongs and turn over the charts: "Roll With it" fails to even make the top 200, though the website hasn't changed yet to reflect this. Morrissey fans at least acknowledge their crushing failure.
Both would perhaps have been wise to choose weeks without sales being inflated by the Brit Awards, not that it would have helped that much. The effect isn't enough to change the very top of singles (or albums), where Mika still rules all, but it does send "Patience" 22-10 (putting it just ahead of Take That's follow-up!), "Chasing Cars" 23-12, "Rehab" 49-22 and "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" 39-33.
"When You Were Young", "Put Your Records On" and "Dani California" obviously weren't so well received, only the first even making the top seventy-five. Meanwhile RHCP's new piece of crap "Desecration Smile" does only a little better at 27, sitting alongside the similarly fully released Snow Patrol's "Open Your Eyes" (26) and The Feeling's "Rose" (38) in the 'maybe we should stop bleeding this album dry now' stakes.
Higher up Kaiser Chiefs are still 2, Akon moves to 3, The Gossip move top twenty and Omarion enters at 19. Never Forget.
I guess their Best British Breakthrough Artist award might be responsible for The Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" re-entering at 39, but there must be greater unholy forces at work to explain why that and their follow-up single have both been hanging around the edges of the top forty for weeks now. Also back from the undead: Razorlight's "America" at 34. More heartening news is that Towers Of London's "I'm A Rat", despite the best efforts of the press to turn a few days' worth of reality TV exposure into a career, stalls at 46. That's one place better than Blink 182 leftovers +44, and, brilliantly, two worse than Ch!pz. Remember the Pop! that didn't feature Hugh Grant? No? Well, that would be where they've gone wrong. It may be worth clicking that YouTube link just for the tags and description. Finally, anyone wondering about why Spice Girls Reunion rumours are taking hold now should note the position of Emma Bunton's new single, peaking at 60. 60!

Sunday coming: Kaiser Chiefs should manage number one in the singles. Amy Winehouse will be back on top in the albums. Also going up: The Fray, Kelis/Cee-Lo, Beyonce, Junior Jack and 27 year old former Spiller singer ((c) Metro) Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

7 Days - It's my party

New thing works like this: end each week with the seven songs that have most caught my ear during it.

2Raumwohnung - "Nimm Mich Mit"
Yummy German electropop with a gentle exterior eventually giving way to heartache - had me intrigued to hear more straight away and the more has delivered too! Their new single is on the Jukebox too. No-one else liked it as much :(

Snow Patrol - "One Night Is Not Enough"
Reviews of modern day Snow Patrol getting on my nerves? Obviously the perfect time to listen to the Snow Patrol of old before it was all big lovelorn anthems. Except that, hmm, this is in fact their biggest lovelorn anthem of all. There's a bit of extra bite to the guitar crunching in the chorus, and the chorus itself has a bit much venom, but really this is close to "Run" as makes no difference, right up to the spiralling guitar climax. That's no bad thing.

Los Campesinos! - "We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives"
Having long since fallen in love with their debut sort-of-single "You! Me! Dancing!", this was the week that this one started to make just as much sense. Sounding this fresh in the world of scrappy, dancey indie is no easy achievement, but they do it by being more fun than everyone else by a distance. The noisy false ending and listing of Halloween costumes is quite the winning combination. Also notable because of the weird coincedence of sharing an amusing lyrical reference with the title track to fellow hopefuls Lucky Soul's The Great Unwanted. They almost use it in the same way, in fact, with Lucky Soul having 'It's your party, you can die if you want to, die if you want to' to their 'It's your party but I'll die if I want to, die if I want to'. What are the chances?

Fall Out Boy - "Hum Hallelujah"
I just love that kind of thing in general actually, which is why my favourite song so far on the very surprisingly good Fall Out Boy album is the one with hook provided by Leonard Cohen via Jeff Buckley (via Shrek?).

Klaxons - "Totem On The Timeline"
The album is perhaps a little slim and the hype of course silly, but in a climate where imagination in mainstream guitar bands seems something to be frowned on, songs as energetically ridiculous as this ("In club 1830 I met Julius Ceasar...") are refreshing as well as exciting.

Grinderman - "No Pussy Blues"
Another Jukebox contender (except this time everyone else liked it even more). This is the first time I can remember that Nick Cave has not just sounded like someone to be admired and respected from a distance, but actually demanded attention NOW.

Bat For Lashes - "Moon & Moon"
See here.

Brit Awards 2007

I only made it back halfway through, hence no live coverage and the fact that I can't speak with much authority on the whole thing. But it was a bit of a weird one. As long as you realised that Cat Power, Bob Dylan and even Guillemots never had any chance at all, the set of winners was an unusually pleasing one that even had some minor surprises. Lily Allen going home empty handed could be predicted, but Snow Patrol too? Even The Fratellis winning Best Breakthrough can be seen as a lesser of two evils situation while The Kooks still exist.
But on the other hand, the ceremony itself was deadly dull. Russell Brand tried his best, and his Gallagher baiting was quite amusing, but nothing interesting happened, no one had anything interesting to say and the live performances I saw were all totally lacking in spark. The only consequence of being live for the first time in years was that the sound got annoyingly muffled every few minutes - ITV claimed afterwards that this was to cover swearing, but it didn't sound like it.
Now, getting rid of the duet performances of the past at least prevents something like Melua/Cullum's "The Lovecats" ever happening again, but uninspired runs through all the songs that everyone's already heard too many times doesn't seem a great alternative. And as the big finale Oasis sounded like shit even outside of the numerous underwater sections and didn't even play any big hits til after the TV cameras had left them.
So what was worth watching? Nelly Furtado at least seemed very excited as ever to win and got all but shoved off stage as a result, but the only real highlight was Arctic Monkeys continuing to adapt to success in their own unique way in their video acceptance speeches for their two awards. 'We're too busy rehearsing', sour expressions offset by appearance:

Chartsengrafs - Repulse you with my queasy smile

Sunday gone: Mika at number one for a fourth week in the singles, now joined by his album too. I was wondering what amusing new thing I could possibly say about him at this stage, but luckily Brian May has stepped in to save me from needing to!
Midweek predictions of not much happening near the top aren't quite correct as Kaiser Chiefs' "Ruby" rockets right in at 2 after being released to download services earlier in the week. Next week's number one? Maybe! I can't remember a time when their rise seemed that exciting but there might have been one once.
The Fray continue their inexorable rise, going 10-6. Look, I had the measure of them in October! Gwen Stefani and Akon move to 10, just below his other single. That makes it six top 15 singles in a row for her, as long as you ignore "Luxurious". Oh yeah, everyone did. Kelis and Cee-Lo continue to follow their trajectory a little below, moving 19-13.
Mark Owen and his Take Thats go 30-17 well ahead of full release, Sophie Ellis-Bextor does much the same just below, and Nelly Furtado moves up to 19 with one of those rare songs on her album that falls into neither the awesome or cloyingly awful category. Unlike all of the above, Jessica Simpson at 20 has actually been fully released and has about the same amount of UK appeal as Paris Hilton. But more than 2Pac at 21.
"Chasing Cars" moves 24-23.
Ericke E's beat is rocking at 25; what goes around comes around for Justin Timberlake at 29 on dowonloads; Beyonce creeps 39-31; The Long Blondes' fantastic "Giddy Stratospheres" is 37 and Lily Allen lurks just outside at 44. Plus at 34, FHM High Street Honeys! Yes, they're covering "I Touch Myself". And the video is exactly what you expect. Thing is, this is at least as well as any proper British girlgroup launched at this point would do.

In the albums we have Bloc Party and Fall Out Boy at 2 and 3 behind Mika as expected, and Cold War Kids' hype just about carries them to 35.

Sunday coming: Mika is going to be number one again, unless Kaiser Chiefs have a very big end of week surge. Akon's the only other possible challenger. Meanwhile "Chasing Cars" is already heading for the top 10 even before the Brit Awards effect which thanks to the instant accessibility of downloads is probably going to dominate the chart this week even more than in past years.
Oh, and no sign of "Roll With It"! What a surprise.

Bat For Lashes - Moon & Moon

A treat from last night's The Culture Show. Playing for a TV audience probably larger than that of existing fans, Natasha Khan makes the obvious decision to play a bewitching but unreleased song:

Chartsengrafs extra: Fix Me Now

Getting a fair amount of attention this week: a website campaigning for people to download enough copies of old songs to get them to number one in the UK singles chart, focussing on cases where a single has 'undeservedly' reached number two. Leaving aside the fact that this is apparently being run as a publicity stunt for a download store, their particular campaign has idea an awful start by choosing "Roll With It": everyone already owns it, it was beaten by "Country House" which lots of people still prefer, "Wonderwall" is better anyway. There can't be many songs that were more famously number two, but it's still not a lot to go on. It will be interesting to see where they get to if they carry on down that route for any length of time, as well: "this week, download Out Of Your Mind"?

The switch to a chart that allows downloads, meaning that much less outside help is required to provide the stock for those taking part in these campaigns to go ahead, has spurred a number of such efforts. Morrissey fans are attempting similar, and of course we've already had Billie Piper's return to the charts via Chris Moyles.

And all of this is a great thing. Partly because it's doomed to failure of course: if it there was any risk of an Oasis/Morrissey top two next week thanks to people posting on messageboards I would be a bit iffy on it, but it never works that way. It's a great thing because the occasional harmless hijacking of the lower reaches of the UK charts by outside influences is one of the things that makes them so fun to watch: fantastic stories like John Otway and Brighton and Yeovil football clubs spring to mind from recent years, plus that whole business of The Alarm pretending to be a new band and it working despite not fooling anyone for very long. I don't want to see the charts turned over to these people completely, obviously, but I don't want an end to it either.
And it means that, against all odds, people still care. The complaints in that John Otway link about his song being missing from Woolworths charts (the writers seeming to miss the point there that they make up their own chart all the time, 'airbrushing' many a hit in the same manner) seem kind of quaint now. HMV run their own chart too, just shifted to Fifty Quid Man instead of teenage girls, and you'll be hard pressed to find an online store that displays the top 40 rather than their own sales chart. You no longer get your 3 minutes on Radio 1 or Top Of The Pops as reward for a position. Yet people still care! Deeply enough to hold votes and start up campaigns, looking to teach a lesson to the chart watching public, whoever they are. Amazing.

Chartsengrafs - Mmm-mmm

Sunday gone: Mika stays number 1 for a third week. The addition of physicals to downloads lets him take his sales for the week to 77,500. That passes for loads these days, so runners up Fall Out Boy can perhaps consider themselves a little unlucky having got 30,000 or so. Bloc Party stomp and plead their way to 4 with "The Prayer" and Akon and The Fray both slip into the top ten for the first time. You know, I think (or hope) that the gap to The Fray's physical release is going to be long enough that they'll have already done too well to get a big peak - it might cost them number one.
Ten-twenty shows little movement bar Sharam partying all the time at 16 and Kelis and Cee-Lo climbing to a fairly impressive early 19. It's been a while since she had a proper hit, too. It's from twenty-thirty that it's all happening, though.
No one much cares abo0ut Kasabian any more, even if their song isn't totally awful, at 22. Gwen Stefani moves to a downloads only 23 with "The Sweet Escape" then she's set up nicely for another slowly successful and if even this can manage to be huge album campaign. Bring on Rice-Oxley! "Chasing Cars" heads up eight places to 24, ffs, and The Gossip climb nine to 25. Lady Sovereign moves up to 26 on full release, so I was only slightly premature and slightly wrong in making fun of her last week. Sophie Ellis-Bextor's "Catch You" is 28 on downloads. If she'd have left it much longer to come back she'd have been being promoted as 'the girlfriend of that guy in The Feeling', probably.
Take That unleash Mark Owen at 30 on downloads. Nas, Nelly Furtado, Beyonce and Bowling For Soup all creep into the lower end of the forty. Two of those are going to get much higher. Guess which. Razorlight and The Fratellies make up four of the next ten places between them, so let's stop there.

Over in the albums, Klaxons' early week charge turns out to be no match for the weekend supermarket/Amazon buying power of Norah Jones fans, so they have to settle for 2. Other end of January top ten entries from Jamie T (4), Just Jack (6) and a Madonna live album (7) and it's fairly unlikely we'll be seeing much more of them this high any time soon. Actually that counts double for The Shins and Josh Groban at 16 and 17. On Just Jack: does the album cover look about 5 years out of date to anyone else?
At 20 we have, uh, Doris Day, while Little Man Tate bewilderingly fail to take off with the Kooks/View/Fratellis audience at 27, and a year is a long time for Clap Your Hands Say Yeah as Some Loud Thunder fails to replicate their debut's top forty success of Jan 2006.


Sunday coming: It will be the same story again in the album chart; Bloc Party have taken an early lead but have no chance whatsoever of keeping it up all week with Mika bearing down on them full force. Fall Out Boy will settle for 3.
In the singles there's really not a lot that's going to happen, bar entries/risers for the following lower down:
Kaiser Chiefs!
Jessica Simpson!!
2Pac!!!
Erick E?!?!
The Long Blondes!!!!!

Reviewer mindmeld

From a review of Snow Patrol's "Open Your Eyes" single in the NME this week:

'NME have finally pegged the appeal of Snow Patrol - basically they make rock music for people who are too busy to actually get into rock music, and need an easy option swathed in a veneer of quality. Favourite restaurant? Pizza Express. Favourite furnishings store? Ikea. Favourite band? Snow Patrol.'

From a Drowned In Sound review of "Chocolate", April 2004:

'This is a recording designed to fit into a banal lifestyle, without friction, without fuss. It slots in nicely with that trip to Ikea, that purchase of a deluxe double-disc DVD, that Pizza Hut meal deal'

"Open Your Eyes" is a bit of a ponderous, overlong thing and it took me at least 30 seconds to realise wasn't "Chasing Cars" last time I heard it soundtracking something on TV. Hardly their finest moment, then, but still less banal than that approach to criticising it.

Regina Spektor - Fidelity

This was one that got away, Jukebox-wise, and what is this for if not telling you about awesome songs? Anyway, I've never had that much time for Regina before but that's because I haven't heard anything as gorgeous as "Fidelity"'s pizzicato progression. A thousand dainty little steps moving purposefully forwards, and the moment when the music momentarily stumbles before heading forwards stronger than ever is the stuff of dreams. I still don't love Regina herself on this (sung by, say, Joan Wasser this would be a 10/10 for sure) but it's difficult to mind too much.

Chartsengrafs - Why don't you like me?

Sunday gone: It's a bit of a slow week at the top. Mika is still number 1, still kind of smug looking. Just Jack still follows, with Mason/Princess Superstar jumping to 3. Fall Out Boy enter at 6 with their absurdly self-referential "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" and still sound like the one mainstream emo band who aren't actually really good. As opposed to My Chemical Romance, obviously, who are two places below with the full release of "Famous Last Words". Well, their last single was rather unfollowable. They do get the biggest selling physical release of the week though, incedentally, an achievement which means increasingly little as digital sales reach the 80% mark of market share.
Akon climbs to 11 with his ignorable new single, Bloc Party enter at a not bad 13 with "The Prayer", a grower to put it politely. I'm seeing them tomorrow by the way. And I still haven't heard any of their other new stuff. Will report back soon. The Fray climb to 16 and see the physical release date of their single put forward another few weeks. Can't we miss out on a big American hit for once? I mean I know we gave them "You're Beautiful" and all, but still. Brining up the rear of the top 20 are Little Man Tate, who win the least hatable Arctic Monkeys soundalike competition by some distance. The prize is to still kind of suck.
Keane's "A Bad Day" only gets to 23, but they won't mind too much as their album finally takes off again a little. That single's number two in the airplay charts at the moment, but happily those don't count for anything chartwise here! (although, woah, I had no idea that radio liked "Annie, Let's Not Wait" so much)
Amy Winehouse falls from 21 and 24 to 24 and 28, with "You Know I'm No Good" proving to have just as much sticking power as "Rehab". Larrikin Love's "Well, Love Does Furnish A Life", confusingly released on a disc called "A Day In The Life" is 31. It's not especially good, but it's ok because the release has given us a gorgeous Guillemots cover of it. I bet you knew I'd say that. the Skins effect does indeed push The Gossip up into the top forty at 34, and Kelis and Cee Lo are the last new entry on downloads, with The Shins just missing out despite early week promise at 42.
Further down you get some larger new rules oddities. The release of Rocky Balboa pushes "Eye Of The Tiger" and the original theme to 47 and 52 respectively - they've got to have peaked by now, surely - and if anyone can explain why Placebo's version of "Running Up That Hill" is at 66 I'd be grateful.

At the top of the albums chart The View are on fire! Sadly not literally. The Good, The Bad And The Queen are just behind, with the only other new entry for The Cooper Temple Clause, who still have some fans at 33.

Sunday coming: Mika will be number one again easily since his CDs are out, keeping Fall Out Boy off. Bloc Party for 3, and, uh, The Fray for the top 10? Oh dear. Your other new entries or climbers will be:
Kasabian
Kelis/Cee-Lo
Gwen Stefani/Akon (not that he does much)
Nas/Will.I.Am
Lady Sovereign
Bowling For Soup
Switches
Take That

And in the albums, Lex favourites Klaxons are going to be number one. Though only number 34 in Sainsburys' chart. There's loads behind them but we'll talk about that this time next week.

Lucky for some

As promised - a compilation of 13 of the acts that I'm looking forward to great things from this year, ready for you to download. Usual rules apply: they can't have released as album yet, basically. Having come around to them a lot, Klaxons might be on here except that there really isn't any point at this stage.

New/2007

1. Los Campesinos! - You! Me! Dancing!: Four exclamation marks for excitement entirely justified. The reason that this is the most likely song for you to have already heard is becauseit isn't so much promising as the magnificent complete article; it takes a while to get going but you soon realise that that's just to prepare you for the unrestrained joy to follow. They seem to have some other songs nearly as good, too.
2. Dead! Dead! Dead! - Colours 123: 2006 was a bit quiet on the Dead! Dead! Dead! front, but they did contribute the standout track to 50 Minutes, a hectic minute of brooding atmosphere followed by crashing aggression. This is rather like that but stretched out a bit - think a cleverer Cooper Temple Clause before they decided to become awful and you're somewhere near.
3. I Was A Cub Scout - Teenage Skin: I was too, you know. Nottingham teenageers who have come up with some marvellous skittery beats to back up their angst, this being a good example.
4. Lorraine - Saved: Popjustice favourites tipped for big things at the start of last year, which resulted in a number 29 single in April and then not a lot. Hopefully they won't be completely forgotten because their pristine electropop is actually really good.
5. Snowfight In The City Centre - Listen: This is the third year in a row that I start by picking this band, though previously in their old guise of Lisa Brown. Yet in the meantime the likes of The Upper Room have managed to make a success of a similar sound without any songs nearly as good as this. Mystery.
6. GoodBooks - Turn It Back: As was clear when they wowed me at last year's Camden Crawl, they have a lot of great songs. Enough in fact to have actually given this one away for free. Ooh.
7. Candie Payne - Take Me: Not a cover of The Wedding Present's song, but a forceful piece of retro pop soul that excels way beyond mere pastiche.
   
8. Lucky Soul - Lips Are Unhappy: Achingly sweet girly pop with gorgeous harmonies. Anyone who liked The Pipettes and Camera Obscura's albums last year, this is like the best bits of both put together.
9. Sky Larkin - Somersault (Notes): Hottest British Act of 2006! I can't add much to what they say, except that I'm rather excited about going to see them and Los Campesinos!
   
10. iLiKETRAiNS - A Rook House For Bobby: I spent a while trying to work out where to put this in the tracklisting, but it would sound like nothing else wherever I'd gone for. Such is the extent that their deep, dark post-rock sounds beamed in from another reality entirely.
    
11. The Indelicates - New Art For The People: 'If it weren't for the cum in your hair, the cocaine on your teeth...' Well, a first line like that is one way to grab the attention. Pleasingly the rest of this boy/girl duo's scuzzy dramatics are just as captivating.
    
12. Emmy The Great - Secret Circus: Rich and evocative folk from a girl who sounds a little bit like Joanna Newsom might if she weren't so annoying.
    
13. Kate Nash - Birds: Lily Allen comparisons aplenty coming her way, and if anything puts you off this it will probably be her Laahndan accent. But under her folk's surface attitude there's some heartwarmingly beautiful songwriting at work . Her first single proper, then, is of course a spoken electro mess called "Caroline's A Victim". Whatever works.
    

'Happens to be about nine feet tall and have a mohican'

It's Stylus Singles Jukebox time once more! Except that it's different now - it has changed format to a blog and will now provide a more constant stream of snarkiness and fine music from mainland Europe. I'm on the first new entry, for Teddybears (who fit into the second category, as long as Sweden counts as mainland) and if you keep an eye on it I'll be on more soon. Plus there are a lot of other rather excellent writers that you should be reading for too.
I won't be mentioning updates I'm on now unless they're particularly notable, obviously, but that's ok because I'm going to have lots of other exciting stuff right here. Starting this weekend with a compilation of songs by some of the most promising new acts around.

Just heard on the radio

'The original emos, Good Charlotte, are back!!'

Chartsengrafs - Should I bend over?

Sunday gone: It's an all hyped all new acts top three this week, headed by Mika getting the second ever download only number 1. You know, I could almost bring myself to actually like him if it wasn't for the spoken bits in this song being so incredibly irritating. Just Jack is at 2 (and he would have been number one under the old rules, ha) and is pretty much the opposite to Mika in that his current single is enjoyable but I have a feeling that it will be a bad thing to ever hear from him again.
The View go up to 3 on full release, presumably selling to people too young to remember "Brimful Of Asha". Jojo is also a riser to 4, with Leona Lewis and Eric Prydz tumbling as a result of all this new activity. So with the new rules, does this top five feel a little... unearned? Even less worth anything than normal? Well, yeah, actually. But then it is January, long the season for Mercury Rev to score hits and unexceptional records to climb to unrealistic heights. If we have the same feeling come March, then there's a problem.
The Ordinary Boys probably can't believe their luck re the Celebrity Big Brother furore reminding people of that Preston guy from last year's just in time for their new single (ok, that part must be deliberate) - it's enough to put it up to 7. Not-so-secret Manics fan Jamie T goes up to 9 with "Calm Down Dearest".
Five years on from "Bad Babysitter", Princess Superstar neatly gets her second number 11 single thanks to Mason's "Exceeder", although that might be ruined by a rise next time; Klaxons creep up to 14; The Good, The Bad And The Queen scrape into the top twenty this time around.
Oh and there's some silliness as Chris Moyles tells his listeners to download Billie's "Honey To The Bee" and it's enough to get it to number 17. Which is not too high for January and thus rather a relief, although it's still difficult to imagine Ms. Piper herself actually being too pleased for everyone to be reminded of it. Actually, the msot interesting thing is that is solves the mystery of what else Hear'say's "Pure And Simple" was assembled from apart from "Never Ever" and "All Around The World".
Lower down the forty, Guillemots' awful rerecording of "Annie, Let's Not Wait" (but hey, it has a nice video!) is their second biggest hit yet at 27; The Fray are at 29 two months before their single is released and will presumably soon be as huge here as in the US; and we get a first sighting of My Chemical Romance's new single at 38, one place behind "Welcome To The Black Parade".
Just outside we have The Gossip's "Standing In The Way Of Control" maybe because of that advert for that program that it is on? I don't know. And love her or hate her, Lady Sovereign sure is an obsession at, er, 48. To put it in brave new chart world context, that's three places ahead of "Eye Of The Tiger" and all of five ahead of The Jackson 5.
Amy Winehouse is still number one album, still nothing else interesting happening. Unless you count people buying The Fratellis again, but we'll try to forget about that one.

Sunday coming: No change looking likely for the top two, but Mason/Princess are heading for 3. Other new entries or rises coming up from:
My Chemical Romance!
Klaxons!
Little Man Tate!
Bloc Party!
Fall Out Boy!

And Amy Winehouse is going to be deposed from the top of the albums by the combined efforts of The View, The Good, The Bad and The Queen. See, this could get easily confusing.

Eurosonic day 2 (12/01/07)

(Day one here.)

Day two begins with another couple of instores - first of all The Duke Special, who remind heavily of Liam Frost's passable but derivative folk-pop, only with a Belfast accent.



Then Tunng, who also offer folk but of a decidedly more twisted bent. Their acoustic instore is good, but they promise 'more beats and some dodgy rave music' for their Usva performance later. The latter claim is rather an exaggeration but electronic edges do improve their set and the closing cover of Bloc Party's "The Pioneers" is just as wonderful as hoped.



Massive queues prevent us taking in Osark Henry, bar his closing song, which has enough of a feel of Coldplay's "Clocks" about it to make his popularity unsurprising.

Dead Combo, upstairs at the Grand Theatre, are a Portugese duo who play intricate instrumentals somewhere between fado and spaghetti western in style. Between song explanations that broken English frequently renders funnier than intended (and this is as good a place as any to note that every act we saw spoke English, usually not even attempting Dutch venue names) they show off some fantastically proficient guitar and bass playing. It's not music that I'm particulary familiar with, but their enjoyable set is always approachable, culminating in a kazoo driven Tom Waits cover.



Datarock are a bunch of overenergetic red tracksuited Norwegian mentalists, and as such are great fun to watch. Unfortunately what we see of their set proves a little lacking in hooks or direction, to the point where actually remembering what they sounded like afterwards proves a bit of a challenge.So it's upstairs again early in plenty of time for Hello Saferide.



Seeing Annika Norlin (Hello Saferide is her, plus her friend Maia for tonight) play her songs further emphasises some of the contradictions of her recorded work. See, the person that you see in her lyrics - the one that's jealous, neurotic, obsessive and scared of feet - is kind of pathetic. Her slightly stilted explanations almost always place her songs as autobiographical, too. There are moments when she's obviously exaggerating for comic effect, like "Last Bitter Song"'s 'I'm feeling happier already' followed by an overdone grimace, but these are few and far between. For the most part, this is being presented as straight down the line.
And yet, as she marches her way through great song after great song, taking in much of her debut album and more recent Would You Let Me Play This EP 10 Times A Day? it's impossible not to take her side. Surely someone able to write songs this consistently funny, insightful, and quotable can't really be such a wreck as she makes out? Not the one whose new year's resolutions in "2006" include 'I will learn a new word every day, today's word is dejected' or who can make the brilliant handclappy pop of "My Best Friend" and make despair sound as good as on "Summer's Going To Take The Pain Away".
A handful of new songs even suggest that there's still better to come. The finest is about how 'people are like songs' and balances very funny verses ('I'm like Can't Get You Out Of My Head/Sure I'm annoying sometimes but I'll make you dance') with a chorus that's the most ingenious and affecting declaration of love I've heard in a long time: 'You're the only one who is like God Only Knows'. Aww.



From there it's back downstairs for Belgians Goose, whose name seems particularly ill-suited to their energetic dance-rock. LCD Soundsystem and Soulwax says the bits of the EuroSonic programme entry that I can understand and both are fair comparisons. But they're most similar in the more song-based early part of the set, where they are good but suffer from a frontman who doesn't quite have the necessary authority to convince. No such problem later on as he gets more into it and the emphasis switches to pounding, euphoric instrumentals. They're great enough to be worth looking up as soon as possible after the festival and it turns out that they're signed to Skint Records with an album to come out in the UK next month. With the right press and a flimsily attached new rave label, they might just get somewhere with that.

After Goose it's a quick trip to Fancy, whose preposterously awful glam rock provides a few minutes of laughs. Bar some time at an underpopulated but still enjoyable party on a boat, that's it for Eurosonic 2007. With some luck, I might just be back next year!

(Thanks to Ada for photos, bar the Hello Saferide one for which I have Sabrina to thank)

Eurosonic Day 1 (11/01/07)

Eurosonic is two thirds of the Noorderslagweekend festival in Groningen, the Netherlands. With Patrick Wolf among the hundreds of acts from across Europe playing at the town's many venues, and a generous invitation to stay with a friend in the town, I couldn't really turn down the chance to go.

Utroubled by licensing or noise issues, the festival proper starts at 8pm and runs through well into the night. There's stuff to watch during the day too, though, at Groningen's big record shop, Plato. As well as being a hell of a lot better than the crap ones in Amsterdam that I visited, it puts on instore performances from some of the festival acts, and that's where I start with Peter, Bjorn and John. Armed with infectiously cheery demeanour and equally infectious songs that come to life much better than on record, they play an enjoyable if short set. The highlight is obviously "Young Folks" though, complete with badly mimed whistling and a cardboard cutout of Erykah Badu standing in for Victoria Bergsman.



First choice of the evening was between The Young Knives and Gomez singer (yeah, that one) Ben Ottewell. Alone I would have gone for the former but the latter isn't without his merits and is playing a rather nice venue, the plush seated upstairs room at the Grand Theatre.
Now, one of the better organisational points of the festival is having 45 minute sets, with some venues having two alternating stages to eliminate any time in between sets and few gaps built into the schedule to move around in. This does make it hard not to miss the starts/ends of sets but is generally preferable to the measly 25 minute shows common at UK festivals. Not in Ben Ottewell's case, though. As amazing as his voice is to be bellowed at with up close, there's nowhere near enough in just him and an acoustic guitar to hold interest for so long. Especially when he insists on playing as many Gomez B-sides as A-sides. A cover of Nick Drake's "Black Eyed Dog" works very well though (what is it about that song? I've seen JJ72 and South play it too...)



Worries about overcrowding in the tiny Usva send us there well before Patrick Wolf's set, giving a chance to check out the preceding act Lo-Fi-Fnk. No expectations there, really, but they turn out to be easily the greatest discovery of the two days. They are three ridiculously young looking Swedish guys who play slightly fey and extremely sugary electropop, and they are FUN. Winningly unwilling to take anything very seriously, a precision and ear for a glossy hook shines through regardless and every time it seems like they might let up another exhuberant beat or riff comes from somewhere. Their set produces wide grins and dancing all round and anyone getting excited about the likes of I Was A Cub Scout at present would do well to have a listen.



Patrick Wolf is initially plagued with tehcnical problems that are a welcome abscence everywhere else at the festival - he starts about 15 minutes late, instruments repeatedly don't work and setting up a microphone at the front of the stage and at his piano is a task beyond the flustered looking guy running around the stage. Though he once looks like losing his temper, Patrick largely takes it in his stride, joking about the difficulty setting up a microphone stand for a 6'4" platform shoes wearer and offering to take requests. The start of his set is ruined beyond rescue though, with a wobbly "Teignmouth" particularly awkward. It's only when he says that he's in a 'retrospective mood' and turns to his laptop that he really gets going.
Highlights: "Tristan" is more of a defiant holler than ever, he brings out unexpected high camp in the normally harrowing "The Childcatcher" and he finishes off with a great run through the title track of his (amazing) new album and a defining "A Boy Like Me". He'll do better sets, but seeing him play so many old songs so close up is a treat unlikely to be repeated.



After that we go to Vera (more like your standard small gig venue than most here) for The Hormonauts. They're Italian rockabillies whose set is not particularly impressive but includes a song that rips off "Bang Bang You're Dead" by Dirty Pretty Things so blatantly that it's admirable for its gall if nothing else.

To finish, cancellations and rearrangements allow us to take in a second set of the night from Lo-Fi-Fnk. It's still fun, although not nearly as revelatory as the first, not least because they have the distinct air of being up well past their bedtime... us too.




The second day (when we saw a few more bands than on the first!) to come very soon.

Some people wait a lifetime for.... Chartsengrafs

See what I did there?
Anyway, time to review the burning wreckage of the UK's singles charts. Well, really, the switch to allowing all downloads to chart at any time was a sensible and inevitable one, and within a couple of years will give us a perfectly good download based chart. Only problem is that while physical singles overall sell much worse than downloads, newly released big singles are still mostly sold on old fashioned CDs (or vinyl, or DVD, or... cassette? Perhaps not). This means that unless you follow the release dates very closely, lots of singles are going to start having big jumps for no apparent reason. At least last year's one week in advance rule made things easier to follow.



Sunday gone: Leona Lewis just about manages to hold off Eric Prydz (less than 100 copies in it, apparently) for a fourth week at number 1 with "A Moment Like This". At this point the only explanation I can come up with for such dreck still being foisted on X Factor winners is that Cowell and co. actually make more money by them having a massive first single and then a career that's over by June in order to better clear the way for next year's chump.
3 and 4 are new entries on downloads only, so pretty much readying themselves to fight for next week's number one are Mika and Just Jack, both highly placed in the BBC's early year survey of music biz types to find the next big thing. The former's song, you'll notice, all but announces him as Freddie Mercury redux, such is the conviction that this is all that we should want. "Too Little Too Late" surprisingly isn't for Jojo at 6.
The View's "Same Jeans" (previously a number one for Cornershop nine years ago) enters at 11 just ahead of full release, Freemasons get a 12 with the help of some actual CDs and Klaxons get a very early 16 for "Golden Skans", which is probably going to be rather big. It's worth mentioning at this point that my previous unimpressed stance on them has been overturned, not so much by this song as by belatedly seeing the fantastic video to "Magick". The response was something along the lines of 'oh, now I get what they're doing'. Amy Winehouse just about manages to get her new single ahead of "Rehab", at 18 to its 20. It's working out well, anyway, because her album hits the top of the (otherwise uninteresting) album chart for the first time.
"Chasing Cars" is back out of the top twenty again but still ahead of The Ordinary Boys' "I Luv U". I would like to say something about that one and it's video, but really, where the hell to start? The Automatic's rerelease of "Raoul" (hey, it's better than Lostprophets) gets to a measly 30, with the small consolation that it does at least place ahead of the six month old "Monster". Just. Evanescence are at 32, Jarvis is at 36, Jamie T at 40 (but sure to climb next time) and The Cooper Temple Clause are 41 and unlikely to ever see any higher again.
That's your lot for this week. Finished. Done.

Oh, alright then, the much reported big news of this week's chart is that of Koopa, who at 31 are the first unsinged act ever in the top 40. As long as we're ignoring, you know, Marillion, SimplyRed.com, Sway having managed the same thing a year ago, that type of thing. Which we are, since they didn't make it through revolutionary chart changes that reflect the changing ways in bla bla bla. This is their single, and they've, uh oh, decided to use it to make a statement about the music scene. Its chorus goes 'this is what real music sounds like'. Click at your own risk, because if I have to cover a more disheartening single this year I'll be kind of surprised.

Sunday coming: Mika is going to be number one, though his single isn't out til 29/01 so under previous rules he wouldn't even be allowed in yet. There'll be some more news stories about that, no doubt.
Just Jack just behind, followed by The View lining up to be this year's Kooks.
Other new or rising songs by:
JoJo
Ordinary Boys
Klaxons
Jamie T
The Good, The Bad And The Queen
Guillemots
Akon with Snoop Dogg
The Gossip

Haha

via Popjustice. It's difficult to grasp how anyone could have the necessary skills and time to create this and put it up on YouTube and yet...